And those kinds of wounds can take a lifetime to heal and will inevitably carry over into your next relationship.
If you end up in a place where you fear rejection, you’ll start to anticipate it and then you’ll be more likely to be rejected, thus confirming your initial prediction and affirming your belief that anyone you like won’t like you, which may pave the way for more rejection and on and on the vicious cycle goes.
Psychologists have labeled this tendency to be vague as “persevering indirectness,” meaning that when we need to reject somebody, we tend to be as non-confrontational as possible at every stage of the rejection process. This is a waste of time, because the rejection message they give you is often completely detached from their actual reasons.
1500 women are murdered by intimate partners every year. But to assume it’s always because she deems you unworthy is not only often inaccurate, but smacks of insecurity and self-pity–two characteristics that will make sure she’s not interested. If your over-reacting fills her with a heightened fear of men, then she’ll be less likely to open her heart to the next guy. Even if just a little, by simply starting to take the everyday reaction of “Sorry, I’m not interested” with more maturity and aplomb. 8) If you can’t handle rejection from women, how will you handle it elsewhere? And as the Internet was reminded this week, it’s particularly dicey for straight women turning down straight men.On Monday, Buzzfeed writer Grace Spelman publicized Harry Potter fanboy and (more disconcertingly) Feminspire co-founder Benjamin Schoan’s online flirtation-turned-aggression toward her. There are too many Elliot Rodger types in our midst, so incapable of dealing with rejection that their skewed perspective leads to needless tragedy – on a small or large scale. But you shouldn’t try to make sure she’s hurting, too, by lashing out emotionally (and certainly not physically). We have no more right to a woman’s time & affection that we do to Harvard granting us unconditional admission. Do you think she’s going to hear you call her a stuck-up bitch and say, “Oh, maybe I was wrong about him. Making our romantic dreams come to fruition isn’t so different from doing so with any other goal. But it doesn’t mean some other wonderful result isn’t still possible for us. Because let’s face it: male rage is a very real problem for women in today’s world. And while the burden of initiation still appears to rest mostly on the shoulders of men, that burden doesn’t entitle us to expect compliance for putting our necks out there. A strong man doesn’t fly into a rage when things don’t go as planned. If she already was leaning away from you, you’re not exactly making her change her impression of you by freaking out and getting angry. How we handle rejection in our romantic lives is a good barometer of how well we’ll adapt when our personal or professional goals meet resistance, too.